The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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