dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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