Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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