Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
