You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
