i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
