I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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