Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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