Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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