Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
