talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
