so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
