you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
