The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
