It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
