just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
