Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
