discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
