Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
