I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
