Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
