all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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