hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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