is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
