brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
