My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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