we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
