The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
