I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
