yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
