I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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