He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
