did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
