If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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