spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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