so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
