I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
vagina is talking i cant
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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