dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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