if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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