I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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