Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
