butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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