Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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