thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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