return my video game
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
