I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
