i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
