theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
