dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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