Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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