2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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