This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
